Bullying is an aggressive behaviour where the use of force or coercion is used to affect others, this is usually done when there is an imbalance of power. Becoming a victim of bullying can affect anyone at any age and like other forms of abuse can have devastating consequences.
Bullying is associated with a continuous attack on someone else rather than just a single event. Bullying can occur in almost all settings and isn't isolated to a single part of society. Males tend to use physical violence to bully others, whereas females tend to use isolation or social exclusion as the tool for bullying although these are dependent upon the person and may vary.
There is currently no legal definition for bullying, however bullying is the repeated attack of someone either physically or psychologically generally through domination.
Childhood bullying
Childhood bullying has been highlighted a lot in recent years, due to the extreme severity and consequences. Bullying is very common amongst children and can occur both in and out of a school setting.
Bullying within a school setting can have a devastating effect on a child's education and well-being, a child doesn't have the freedom to escape such situations either, as they are usually situated within the school grounds and are unable to leave. This could lead to feelings of isolation, being trapped and that of fear, especially as a child has to regularly attend school by law and at this age a child can be very impressionable.
A child will sometimes strive to gain acceptance to a group and fit in, if this is not forthcoming or the child is rejected it can cause emotional upset. Occasionally a child may even try to fit in with the group that persecutes them to gain acceptance, this is usually a natural and unconscious decision however a child may blame themselves for continued bullying due to this. For a bully this is an ideal situation as they can further gain control and total subordination of their victim.
Bullying a child will generally start slow and develop over time, becoming worse until a child can no longer cope. A bully will more often than not engage or entice peers and friends into the abuse towards the victim, leaving the victim isolated further.
Bullying a child can come in many different forms, these include but not limited to:
Discrimination
Sexual Abuse
Physical Abuse
Emotional Abuse
Isolation & Exclusion
A lot of bullies do not realise the hurt they are causing other people, more interested in what they get from the abuse, the power and the increase in social status. Occasionally a victim of bullying may resort to bullying themselves, to try to re-capture some control and social status from another peer group.
It can be common for victims to harm themselves, or to take substances that are harmful to eradicate the pain caused by bullies, bullies may also pressure you into taking such substances.
Why do people bully ?
There are many reasons why a child may get bullied, although not extensive some of the reasons are:
Learned behaviour from living in a dysfunctional or abusive family can make it feel normal to persecute others.
Peer pressure from others or to 'have a laugh' at the expense of others.
To prevent being bullied themselves.
To attempt to increase social status by lowering others.
Due to own inadequacies or jelousy.
To gain attention even if the attention is negative.
Scared of those that are different.
For some form of personal gain.
Symptoms of childhood bullying
Victim feelings & behaviour
Feel afraid of those who are bullying, this can also lead to mistrust of anyone.
Feelings of hopelessness and enclosed or trapped.
Obsessed with trying to appease.
Feelings of anger and resentment both towards self and bullies.
Feeling isolated, excluded and feelings of loneliness.
Loss of own opinion, beliefs or behaviours.
Feelings of anxiety around people or entirely loss of any emotional feelings.
Obsession with revenge or escape.
Making self ill, to prevent having to goto school or meeting bullies.
Making excuses for loss of money, property or damaged property, clothing etc...
Withdrawal from previously happy situations or from those close to the victim.
Dark thoughts or feelings, around harm or suicide.
Abusive behaviour
Aggressive, nasty and upsetting comments.
Exclusion or isolation from activities.
Physical contact, torture or inappropriate harm.
Threats of violence, including death.
Rumours being spread.
Stealing, damaging or destroying property, or something you care for.
Forcing themselves upon you, either in a violent or sexual manner.
Treating you as an object or animal rather than a person of equality.
Demeaning comments about something personal or different.
Demanding comments, making you do things that you do not wish to.
Reasons for not reporting childhood bullying
Was unsure if it was bullying.
Fear of reprisals if a complaint is made.
No self-esteem and feelings of self loathing.
Fear of further exclusion or isolation.
Fear of not being believed.
Embarrassment.
Unsure how to complain or get help.
Feelings of self blame and self loathing.
Blackmail or threats made to prevent me complaining.
Wishing to fit in irrespective of others behaviour.
Feeling that things will change, that popularity will eventually increase.